So here I am, newly single, still recovering from my trauma, and having a ball with my new bff. I'm feeling very confident because I have lost some weight, and have a new glamorous appearance courtesy of CE. It's this moment that I decide I'm going to date the office bad boy...or so I thought.
When I tell CE who my crush is she actually laughed, like out loud, and thought I was kidding. This begins our discussion of standards, and why I should have some. This guy is the exact opposite of who I should be dating. He is a baggy-pants wearing, chain smoking, motorcycle riding "wanna-be" gangsta, with a foul mouth to boot. Swoon!
We had worked together for nearly a year when I set my sights on him. He is several years younger than I am, so I knew I would need assistance in my endeavor. I reverted to a tactic that dates back to grade school, and should stay there: get my friend to ask him out for me. This never works and is never a really good idea, it's confusing to people and it takes the attention away from you. The World Series had just started so I thought a sports bar drink would be a fun first date. I had CE call him up and ask him out. Needless to say it was very awkward and made him think it was her who was interested. Enter a third party, the nosy older colleague. VV had known A. for years, and was absolutely thrilled about my idea to seduce him. If only I had known that she is absolutely thrilled about literally anything, so her opinion cannot be trusted. I had her clear up the mix-up and told him that it was ME who was interested, not CE. He flashed one of his dreamy grins and I knew I had the go-ahead.
Next step: initiate flirtation. I pretended I needed some wood glue so I texted him asking to borrow some. With the text conversation in full swing I began to chat him about the baseball game, any light conversation that would result is a reason to meet up for a drink. Well we won the world series that year so my opportunity presented itself.
After our first night of texting, he came up to me at the office the next day to make sure that I was actually flirting with him. I assured him I was and said that I was excited for our celebratory drink. Our first date was after work on a Tuesday, we met at a little dive bar near my house. I could tell he was super nervous. We had two drinks and then he kissed me, right there sitting at the bar. No hinting at it, no smooth moves, just planted one right on me mid-conversation. Talk about awkward, but of course I loved it. I asked if he wanted to walk me home and he said yes. He walked me all the way to my door where we kissed some more, a lot more. Then I said goodnight. I was so excited! I thought my fool-proof to make this guy my bf was well under way.
The next day was Halloween and I had to work the night shift. We happened to be having a little work party and he is the one in charge of serving the food and drinks. I was trying SO hard to be non-chalant. But this was new territory for me. I didn't know how to act around him and ended up just be really quiet and awkward. Our second date was the next day. I invited him over for Martinis ETC... I ended up getting waaaaaaay too drunk because I was so nervous. Things quickly escalated to the bedroom and before I knew it we were about to become very intimate. Just before we started, he stopped and looked at me and said "I know you really want a boyfriend, but I can't date anyone right now, and I just want to do right by you." GREAT. We had hung out less than twice, and he already knew "I really wanted a boyfriend" Is my desperation really that apparent! I of course agreed with him and the intimacy proceeded. It was clear that he hadn't been with anyone in quite some time, and he was very eager. It was so fun! But I knew immediately when he said the dreaded words, deep down I knew.
Date 3 was one week later on a really rainy Friday night. I was annoyed because he texted me just before he arrived saying that he wouldn't be able to stay long. Ok. Cool. You don't HAVE to come over jeez. We met at my place and then walked, in heels, in the rain, to the bar. When we got there that power had just gone out so there were all these people just sitting there drinking in the dark. No thanks. We went someplace else and chatted for several hours. He walked me home again and when we got there the power in our apartment had gone out too. CE had lit several candles because of the storm and it gave the apartment a really romantic feel. Then we got intimate again. And then he left. This is when I learned why you should date someone who is able to sleepover, because it's one of the most awkward things when someone comes to your house, has sex with you, and then leaves. And the reason that he left is even worse. He lives with his mother and he needed to get back to her...like wtf. I had a really bad feeling after that date. This was right before Thanksgiving and it was while I was home for the holidays that he began to distance himself.
About two months went by of me trying to initiate contact, both in person and via text, to no avail. Some days he would kiss me in the gallery but not respond to my texts. Some days I would ask him when we were going to hang out again and he would say he was really busy. I really went overboard in my attempts. My two friends were thoroughly exasperated with me for trying so hard with someone so beneath my level. I would dress up and try to catch his attention at work, sometimes I got a response, but most of the time I didn't.
We finally hung out one more time. That's right, this whole thing was only 4 dates. And you couldn't even really call them dates. Our final night together he cooked me a steak and mashed potatoes, but he wouldn't eat with me, so I awkwardly ate by myself, food that I had paid for myself. After that night, all of my attempts were fruitless. This whole charade with him was over in just a month and a half. My feelings weren't quite so quick to leave. I carried a torch for him for months, thinking I could convince him to hang out with me again. We never did.
Cut to present day. Feelings are gone entirely. I do not want to date this guy at all. I actually consider us friends and we are able to be normal at work. No hard feelings on my part. He definitely is not the guy for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment