Day 1 of my new fabulous life

This whole adventure began with not a mistake, but a HUGE success.  I am attempting to write the do's and don'ts of dating, and the best DO of them all was leaving an abusive relationship.  Not to start on too somber of a note, but my fabulous single life began when I made a spur of the moment decision to leave my abuser.  I spent two miserable years as a shell of a person, my self-image being slowly chipped away by the verbal and physical torment inflicted on me by the person I was in a relationship with.  

It was August 22nd, 2012 and I woke up on that Wednesday not knowing that would be the last day with him.  I remember the details of the day, we had gotten in a fight, like the millions of other fights he started with me.  I don't remember exactly what it was about, they were always ridiculous minute things, but it escalated to the point where I did what I had done a thousand times before, packed a bag.  Whenever he fought with me, I would always retaliate by threatening to leave the apartment.  That morning, during the fight, I threw a few things in a bag and threatened to walk out.  He finally calmed down and stopped yelling at me enough that I could start getting ready to leave for work.  I remember sitting in the shower and just feeling entirely defeated, as I had done a thousand times before.  Whenever I'm really sad I always sit down in the shower and kind of get lost in my thoughts, its therapeutic to me.  I don't remember coming to a specific conclusion but started just kind of functioning on auto-pilot.  I got out of the shower and got dressed in my safari dress and started gathering my things to leave.  He sensed my panic and began to question why I was leaving for work hours before I needed to.  Somehow I gathered my necessities, grabbed the bag I had thrown together in the heat of our fight, walked out the door, and ran to my car.  He ran after me crying and screaming, like every other time, and chased me down the street. I got in my car, locked it, and drove away.  I made it. I was out.  

I had threatened to leave him countless times, and even tried once or twice.  My half-hearted efforts always ended in me submitting defeat to him and crawling back to the hell hole that was our apartment.  But I felt different this day and made one very crucial change.  Rule No. 1 in leaving an abusive relationship...Tell Someone.  

Part of his abuse was an advanced emotional manipulation he used to make me think I was crazy and that everything was my fault.  Because of this,  I hid everything from everyone.  Not one single person close to me had even the foggiest idea of the extent of what I was enduring.  I was really good at hiding it.  The most important first step is telling someone.  This makes you accountable.  I never wanted anyone to know because not only was I ashamed, I knew I would have to act on my confession.  This would make me accountable to myself.  

As I drove away from the apartment that day, he called me and begged me to come back.  Then when I said no, he would say "Fine, it's over".  We had this sick little dialogue that we would act out every time, same threats, same pleas, same outcome.  If I didn't give into his pleas to turn around and come back he would threaten to move out.  I would always say no please stay, but this time I said "Fine, move out."  And I meant it and he knew it.  Somehow I made it into the city and called one of my co-workers to the coffee shop near our work.  I knew she would have make-up and I knew I looked a fright and would have an entire shift ahead of me.  That meeting with her was very central in my transition, and I didn't even recognize it at the time.