As a newbie to the dating scene, I tend to be a little bit irrational sometimes, and have the hugest expectations known to man. I pretty much go into every first date thinking, "Is this my new boyfriend!"...I'm learning how to lower my expectations, at least until I get to know the person! I'm trying to get this thing up to present day, so I can write about what I'm actually doing today in this moment. But there's just too many good stories that need to be told. This one is about expectations. MWS's expectations were WAY too high, even for me. So I moved on from him. Back to JL, the bartender. I figured I could pretty much call him up anytime I wanted, since he was so eager to date me at first. One particularly lonely Friday night, I contacted him saying I wanted to hang out. He was working at his other bar ( one of about five jobs this guy has...) and invited me to come see him. I gathered up my trusty crew, CE and her bf, and hauled them down to this little dive bar that had a NYC theme. The night would play out like this, I told myself going into it: I would sit at the head of the bar, be doted on by him and given endless free drinks, before being whisked home for a night of passionate love-making. I told you my expectations were high. Needless to say this was not what happened, and therefore, because I had set my self up so high, I was extremely disappointed when things didn't go according to plan.
First of all it was a Friday night, the tiny place was packed. JL greeted us warmly, like always, and leaned across the crowded bar to kiss me on the cheek. He immediately cleared people off three stools for us,
( which CE reminded me later was actually very nice) and poured our drinks. Then he did the unthinkable! He went back to work (shock!) CE had to remind me that he was in fact, at his place of work, and this was not a date. I totally thought it was a date. I thought he was going to stand and talk to me all night, with his arm around me, like he had done before. The feeling began to set in that I was being ignored. A couple of drinks set in and I began to feel angry. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am not an angry drunk. I've known some girls in my life that are angry drunks. This means that they get scary and confrontational and violent when they get a little tipsy. They yell and curse and may even throw things. I am not this way at all. However, I do sometimes get a little emotional. I proceeded to complain (louder and louder) that I was being ignored, and that I was angry about it. CE even had to take me outside! Haha I don't think I have ever needed to be taken outside! Luckily, the bar was busy and loud enough that he couldn't hear my ridiculous complaints. CE gently calmed me down, and reminded me that not every guy I date is going to be my boyfriend. JL had absolutely no obligation to me that night, after all, I was the one who blew him off the first go around. I can't just expect him to drop everything and pay attention to only me! We left promptly (Thank you CE!) and I'm pretty sure I sent him a drunk text...oops. Whether or not it was an angry text or a sexy text, I can't remember. But I highly recommend doing neither of those things when you're angry. This lesson was a hard one, one I'm still working on.
That one was the end of my rendez-vous with the bartender. I still see him on the street and say hi. He was definitely not the one :)
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